Yesterday morning I was so pissed off and frustrated I whirled out of buildings with enough force to crack glass doors. God it felt good. When sense caught up with me, it demanded I stop taking things out on those around me. But the rage was still there, looking for someone to hurt. So I gave it myself. Turned it inward. After hours of self flagellation, I was bloody and breaking. Thought I was breaking anyway. Ha! We humans are too tough for that.

Got four hours of sleep. Maybe. That's how long I was in bed at any rate, the wounds healing and opening, only to start healing again.

Today I'm still angry, but it's changed. Not a destructive anger at all. I can give in. Take the pleasure out of rage, feed it. Flow it into creation.

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On a completely different note, I thought I was alone in going to extremes, but apparently it's a "women thing".  Which means my attempts at being more womanly are working. Um, yay? No, not yay. No balance in extremes.

This experiment has officially gone wrong.

Oh, and in semi-related news, how the hell am I supposed to get my female characters to sound more like women and not just men with breasts?! You'd think visa versa, but I've got the male PoV down. Fine, there's the Jesus Incident, but other then that . . .

Iris is simple enough, because whenever she starts acting like Rob, I can curb her with memories of Inara. Rolemodels are great. But after Giselle gets rescued, in my mind she has a complete personality switch. She becomes the white night, and geting less people killed doing it.

They're all switches, that's what it is! Sometimes they're subs, but sometimes they're doms and take over. Meanwhile the men stay doms all the time. Can't do pairings like that. So to make the women more I need to make the guys less? That doesn't seem right.

Will have to work on this more.