I don't think I have ever cursed as much as I have cursed this week. Normally I go the shazzerfrat route and make shit up, but I have been saying the plain old four letter words. Lots.

Exams, stress, money in, money out, sick people, angry people, cops, and a fabulous little place called the dungeon.

( WIne with Cheese )
And in other news . . .

After that How It's Made: Human Baby Style show we watched, I decided to hold off on the kids thing until I'm 30. Going to get dogs instead.

Current view of things: A fetus is a parasitic vampire that when born makes you it's slave, and when grown insults you until you pay an institution to take it away to "college".

Course by Reading week I'll probably forgive them and admit their cuteness. For now, I maintain they drool excessively.

 
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

 Because dammit, there is always one . . . 

I have been honoured to see so many fantastical movies lately. Both things in theatres--a ridiculous concept for me--and in DVD. Holmes was fabulous, as was the many Disney's I rewatched. Eragon sucked, true, but that Brom fellow wasn't too bad in a Thom-Iron man sort of way.

We've been going through all the seasons of Fresh Prince (that made it to DVD anyway). First season of medium, up to season 5 of CSI, aquired Dresden, and the fourth season of my Idol--Titus.

And Avatar.

*sniff*

Life is good on the entertainment front.

IMHO, that would have to be of diarrhea, though a close second would be by vomiting. Shout out to the anorexics and Cholera-infected! 

On Sunday/Monday I broke my previous record of vomiting 11 times in a night  by vomiting 18 times in a 4 hours period with 21 lower end malfunctions. Didn't pee for two days. Trip to the hospital, etc etc.

Stopped counting around the time they gave me the Bear shot. Hell, when asked my name I just handed them my purse. Didn't give a flying fuck at that point. Don't remember much of the admission process.

Fellow was there and for that I am very grateful. All happened so fast. One minute I'm watching Avatar on 3D (wicked film, FYI) next I'm looking at the wrong end of a happy meal in a room that I really wasn't supposed to be in. Had to bail on the movie and call him to pick me up from a friend's house where I was clinging to her floor like a lemur on Propofol.

I swear I will never see a 3D movie again!

Will however give Avatar another shot . . . in standard 2D.

 Today I have learned that the internet is for more than email, wikipedia, blogging, and porn. It's for random searches and music videos and and and STUFF!

Did some school assigned research. Fainting goats, alien babies, etc and then went on and found a map of sexual deviations and puppies giving birth and Brittany Spears music videos and finally I saw something by Lady Gaga and then of course had to wiki all of these people because one moment Brittany is with bald and then she has hair and there's burlesque dancing and a circus which seams to be the same circus in Christina Aguilera's video which I just looked up and then had to wiki.

Since my only exposure to them is dance clubs, and in that circumstance I hardly give a flying J who is singing, as long as they don't bloody stop the beat, had no idea who did what or if they were still doing stuff. After three videos decided Brittany can't lip sync for her life and her voice is too screechy, but lucky me there was lots of electronic rhythm hiding it so I was okay. Lady Gaga looks a century ahead of schedule in her fashion wear, but her voice does nothing. There's beat. I can dance. Whatev.

But Christina . . . she grew up. Love the deep, rich voice, the dramatic octaves . . . and yes, the naughty lyrics. But they're more classy. 40's style stuff. At least the vids I saw. Definitely going to find more of her.

Of course, you guys probably already knew all of this and are most likely giving me the gimlet eye wondering what space station I just landed from.

Added 3 naughty avis. Maybe not naughty, just not stuff I'd have here normally. But it's 1am and I am feeling energized and it seems perfectly rational. Plus, I like them and where else do avis go?

Have a lovely day dolls!

You've probably seen this around . . .

A letter meme:
Comment with the phrase 'Ain't no mountain high enough' and I'll give you a letter, then you have to list ten people/places/things you love that begin with that letter, afterwards post it on your journal and fill out letters of your own.

I was assigned 'J'--the last letter to be added to the 26-letter alphabet


JAM ~ as in to spread on toast, not Michael Jordan's space odyssey, although that wasn't too bad. Have attempted to make my own, have acquired at ridiculous prices, and delight in stealing Fellow's

JONAH ~ "Say 'goodbye' to your daddy, Jonah"

JOINT ACCOUNT ~ especially around Christmas time

JUNE ~ No school, nice weather, usually go on vacation, what's not to like?

JOSHUA ~ my nephew--despite my lack of siblings

JAGUAR ~ both car and animal

JESSICA ALBA ~ in Dark Angel, before she went blonde

JASPRE FFORDE ~ Thursday Next novels

JACK-O-LANTERNS ~ whether done by kids or those freaky cool pumpkin artists

JEWELLERY ~ because I am a dragon and like shiny things

So there you go.

I actually went in SEARCH of a meme to fit what I wanted and in the end decided to mash up something.

( Year In Review Meme Mashup )

I find myself doing good things to make up for having done bad things. Think this makes a difference at all? If the other person doesn't know and it's only your own guilt and no one else finds you at fault, but the fact that you feel guilty tells you you're doing something wrong . . . Of course, when no one else knows the wrong and all they see is all the new right, then label you as "the best", that just makes the guilt even stronger, but now it's mixed with shame.

I wish I could be like most girls and just commit a felony. Those seem to be quite cut and dry.

Preferably A. A makes such nice and satisfying sounds.

*pays*

*accepts A*

GAAAAAAAAHHH GLARRAAAA JAAAAMAAAAAAA!!!!


*discreet cough*

First day back in school and spent four hours tonight doing homework.  Fellow had the blinders ripped off of him at work and his golden boss turns out to really be a jerk. Got a call from a man I never want to meet again telling me my mother needs more money. Not sure how to help friend in need as temperamental women seem to be more common than a horny rabbit.

So the plan to mend all of this . . . Gave boyfriend back massage and put him to bed at 7:30. I shall wake up early to hit bank and add a couple hundred to the mum donation, then will go to school and finish assignment during lunch. Study more after school and potentially do something relaxing before going to bed.

Not really a fan of the go to bed bit. Had night terrors last night. Been a while. Dreading more tonight. Think last lot were due to Dragon Age and scene where one must kill a boy so as to kill the demon that has possessed him or leave the town to get him help, thus enabling the demon possessed child to kill everyone. We chose to kill the boy. Fellow didn't want me to watch him while he did it. It wasn't particularly gruesome or anything, but the moral dilemma haunted me in my sleep.

First strangers, then friends, then family, then myself were possessed and each time I had to make the choice. Finally the demon was powerful enough to stand on its own. It stayed at the foot of our bed, sneaking to the side whenever I tried to look. It wanted to see the terror on my face before it attacked and until I looked at it, it wouldn't attack.

I don't remember much of what I said or did during the night, but apparently I kept Fellow up for hours gibbering about demons. He even started to give in to the panic I was in and grabbed something just in case there WAS something. I was covered in sweat and fully convinced enough for the both of us. Every time I closed my eyes, there was a new nightmare. A different person I had to decide to save or kill. When he finally got me back to sleep, he checked the apartment to make sure everything was safe.

Not sure why they come on so strong. Have a theory that even if I hadn't played Dragon Age with Fellow, still would have had a terror about SOMETHING. DA just gave an image so it wasn't the usual elusive Man With Dagger. If they happened more frequently, I'd investigate. As it is, I'll just have to learn ways to fool myself into proving that monsters don't exist.

Rather hard when the world seems to be so full of them.

 Nothing really go se worthy yet. Just a vague feeling of impending doom. Think this is school related. Maybe family related. Despite our differences, won't feel safe until she's safe.

Spent another year at Fellow's friends place. Loved the games. Did not like watching Britney Spears sing in Vegas. Different tastes. Next year perhaps we shall do the fireworks. And by perhaps, I mean the hot cocoa will be in thermos, blankets will be piled in car and locations will be spotted out. *glares* Just try me.

Had the option of watching a short shorts sparkly extravaganza of malehood wrestlingishness with a friend and her male. Decided to stay at home and watch Tropic Thunder instead. Apologized to fellow profusely while they tasted the head. The rest of it was odd, but okay. Had to watch Narnia to reboot the mind. Then we rolled the dice to decide what to watch next. We each had one veto vote and thus democracy ruled.

Narnia disturbed me. After the numerous episodes of CSI and Medium we've been watching this Christmas break, I kept waiting for him to kidnap, drug her, and molest her. When he only drugged and kidnapped her, I couldn't watch the rest of the movie until he was stone. Kept telling little girl to run and did not believe fellow when he said Fawn was good guy. Evil little dryad seducing leach.

>.>

Anywaaaaay. Sorry to see the vacation end. Was nice to reboot brain. Now on to a semester of ventilators, diagnostics, and drugs. 

But first . . . baking! Dreamsicle bars, boughnuts, movies with friends. Listening to Sonic's decade music count.

Wishing you all a very happy New Year! 2010. The year of the Opal. ~_^

Dad's visit was good. Christmas was great. Mum is no longer in the country. No word as to whether or not I passed 1st semester.

Skidoo, sledding, snow angels, ice skating . . . the joys of winter are being shown to me. Only briefly embarrassed myself on the ice by hyperventilating and refusing to move for fear of passing out. This ice thing is rough. Am determined to manage it. We're going to take the nieces out and I'll be damned if I'm going to allow myself to fall. They might tackle me and tickle me till I pee. You have to be on the defensive with these girls. =p

Goal: Be able to skate on my own--or at least let go of the double fisted death grip enough that Fellow and I merely look "cute" as we "hold hands". >.> Will have to give the whole thing another go. Floridians born in Texas are not made to dabble in the realm of winter. Edmontonians must. It's some kind of survival thing.

( Christmas )

No plans so far for New Years. Fireworks are a must, obviously.

We went driving around looking for houses. Holy smokes, the river valley is nice. Already decided we'll get a starter, then a forever home. And I'm going to get a dog! After all current debt is payed off. Which will be another two years. Darn.

( Family Matters )

Gave him a hallmark christmas ornament for his stocking present. Two fish in a bowl kissing. A bit of an inside joke. We joined together for our tree present. A hard drive so we can share all our pictures, music and movies.

We also bought a whole bunch of songs for rock band. One of them is Life Is Beautiful. Think that's where I'm at right now. Leaving the funeral of the past and seeing the gorgeousness of what lays before me.

So I wrote a rant. It was a very bitter and poisonous rant about someone. After I wrote it, I forced myself to be calm and come back and read it. I hate to see such things come from me and so I deleted it. I do not deny that I have the ability to whine and moan about things, but acknowledgement does not mean I have to indulge it.

We are nothing but our own creations.

( Life and or something lik it )

I wish kind spirits were a little more vocal in their advice. I could use some.

Got the game running. Now have some motivation back. Wrote 3 days worth before playing yesterday. Seemed to go well. Rewarded self. Carried forward.

Went to NaNo event. Ate excessive amounts of sugar. There was a game where you type words to kill zombies. Amusing, the things one must type to kill said zombies.

( Mopeyness )

T( Novelness )Next year, I'm writing a comedy. It seems the only way to do NaNo properly. Have the vikings riding dinosaurs. Run out of steam? Add a demon with a liking for wigs. Dreadlock elves.

I think that's how Summon the Keeper was written. Add a hotel and you're never out of plot devices. Midget basketball team, hole to hell, life force sucking mummy!

"There is too much of the word sucking going around here."

But that is next year and today is today.

Says I to self: study hard before NaNo so you don't have to study till the 20th.

Great plan! says self. But what of books?

No reading, says I.

But what of movies? says self.

Only after 2k a day, says I.

But what of Sims 3: World Adventure, the mummy and kung-fu ridden expansion back with catacombs and puzzles that can kill your raised-from-infant sim really dead?

If you are good, says I to self, you can play this. You must pass 25k, then get back on the 2k a day goal. You must get 80's in school. You must finish Medical Terminology. You must watch all of Big Bang Theory so as to return to friend. You must wait till after Lab exam. You must spend at least three NaNo days with family, proving that you still enjoy their existence. What? You have? You did it? You are such a good girl! Go! Play your little game! Have fun.

Self runs home from successful write in to play. Gleefully instals while rocking back in forth like insane monkey. Clicks play. Get error window. Restarts. Reinstalls. Clicks play. Gets error window. Tries original game. Gets error window. Investigates. Is Mac specific problem. Dejectedly shuts down all systems and cries self to sleep.

I, meanwhile, think it is simply the NaNo and School Gods getting together to intercede what otherwise could have been a very bad blow to willpower and production.

Half way through Nano. 22k in. Only have just met the antagonist. Only two occasions of magic (when wasn't this supposed to be a magical world?) and a romance that she was supposed to fight for a lot longer than this. And who the hell brought in the juggler to shoot my hero and send him away before the MC even gets to know his name?

Despite the juggler, I have the sinking feeling this is turning into more of a dramatisized memoir and less a fictional novel. She is too much the picture of me in land-of-the-living-dead, just before the resurection.

This was not supposed to happen. Yet it is and I am now going through stuff that I wasn't supposed to deal with until I had a break down in my fifties and went to therapy. Seriously people! Does no one read the script?

Having just watched the entire first season of the big bang theory in 6 or 7 hour marathon, I found a bit of that sneaking into my novel as well. Add a dash of Fellow's brother's story (from 20 years ago) and we have a soup that so far tastes like feet, but which can hopefully be spiced up enough later to be something.

Must finish this novel. Not simply 50kyay, but finish. THen finish Stewards (finnally).

The writer is back, the editor hasn't shown up yet, though there is rumbling in the neighboring kingdom that says she's on her chariot heading this way. Guess she got a sniff of NaNo.

Am quite proud of a friend of mine. She's part and par where she should be and this is her first time.

Off to write more!

Got to play with a pigs lung the size of a Rotti today. it was for the Paramedic class, but the RTs saw it through the window and strolled into the lab to goggle. When A&P prof said we could touch it you would have thought someone offered a bunch of 5 year olds some candy.

Hit 10k in NaNo last night. Though got ahead only to fall behind today. No words thus far. My eyes can barely stay open.

There's an overnight write in, but if I made it there, I might fall asleep on the road. My day started at 6:45. School. A half hour at home. Then work. We just got a rediculously long neuro case and so the current prediction is that we will be done in 8 hours. That would put me heading home at 6 in the morning. Huzzah for a 24 hour day. >.>

Rest on Saturday, come back on Sunday, head to school and relax. Yes, next week will be quite the relaxing school week. Only one midterm (which seems to be a fancy way of saying multi-unit exam). One competency assessment. We get Wednesday off. And on Thursday, I have no labs, which shaves a decent 2 hours off of that day.

Had a dream last night that I lived in a castle and in the dungeon my best friend was forging art. We kicked him (yes, my best friend was a he, but I never saw his face) out, but he came back and set the place on fire. Penniless and heartbroken, Fellow and I moved in with his parents, at which point he lost his job and I found out I was pregnant. Moral of the story: don't live in a castle.

My pap is coming into town. He'll be here around the time of the work Christmas party. Shall finally get to see his moves on the floor!

Shan Yu, the Hun bady in Mulan is the same Shan Yu that Shepperd Book quotes in Firefly! Shan Yu being the man who tortures people to see who they really are. yes, THAT scene.

And that's the news in this corner, or at least all that my brain can fathom at the mo.

G'luck to you all and to all a g'night!

These are my people! I have found them! 

 I remember who I am and enjoy it!

No longer do I kill conversations with awkward topics and my blind ignorance of the line. Here, there is no line and anything you say can be taken three steps further!

Right away, sorted into the Wind clan. As I am Libra and in Respiratory Therapy, this seemed highly appropriate. Laptops are our weapon (for wifi is everywhere). 

Much fun with painting and history making and treasure chesting and swagging. (According to spellcheck, I have invented a word and it is not 'swaging'. ^_^)

Our crest was the first to be done and looked very Van Gogh. Fabulous artists in all the groups and very imaginative people all around! Of course I am taking the biased road and saying that our group is the best. ^__^

Currently too hyped up on icing and fudge to stay still and write much.

Whooooosshh!

 I've been working on an outline for my NaNo novel according to Kelley Armstrong's Outlining 101. It's been going really fabulous . . . except everything for my current protag turns out to be about her friend. Ether the girl is obsessed and may or may not be bisexual, or I have a 2nd protagonist. I tried incorporating two protagonists, but it got to be a jumbled mess with 31 plot threads that keep tangling.

Now I am contemplating changing the protagonist to the "side-kick" who is far more messed up, provides waaay more material, and is potentionally an antagonist for another story (Flashback:, for those who don't remember, back in OWG days, even my shortest story became a series in my head) Why heeeelllooooo Anikan Skywalker.

Summery: Protag is boring. Have ready made character ready to take her place.

External Conflict: Protag to be is antag in training

Internal Conflict: Is this getting too complicated and hard to follow?

Writer's Conflict: Multipage outline must be tossed out the window!

Rewards: Love interest of the male hating daughter of murdering psychopath is a shape-shifting wolf with a racoon tale. Very fun.

Conclusion: Will be busy rewriting outline, but in the end will have more fun next month and may or may not respect myself for the trauma of interspecies remodeling.

Thanks for soundboarding!

Have a fabulous day!

Who gave it permission to be so damned cold? Seriously. Not in October. Snow in December, yay, white Christmas. This is just sad. I have to wear bloody long johns under my scrubs. Thought, hey, no sweat, I can deal with this and be the usual chipper one. Bah. My building has improper heating and after a week of not being able to feel my legs, I decided that chipper was the next thing to insane. On the shiny side: (because there is always one, dammit!) I have been doing more cooking due to nice warm stovage. Decent food! For every meal! Wonder of wonders.

Ez, got room for one more down in Auss?

I mean, uh . . . good ol Edmonton. *grins till her teeth hurt*